The Worst People To Share The Road With
Good drivers are all alike; each terrible driver is terrible in their own way. Look, driving is a learning curve, we understand that; all of us at one point or another have probably been one or more of the following terrible drivers. The greater equalizer, however, is that all of us have encountered these drivers.
1. Tailgaters
At best—if there is a best-case scenario—tailgating leaves both parties a little PO'd. At worst, you're on course for a collision if the driver ahead has to brake for whatever reason. Leaving the tailgating for football games and save yourself the danger.
2. Speed Demons
Whoa, I didn't know that NASCAR was holding tryouts on the freeway during my morning commute! Oh, wait, they aren't! The speed limit isn't just a suggestion; it's posted for a reason.
3. Weavers
Look, nobody likes rush hour, but weaving in between whatever lane seems the fastest at any given second isn't going to make the time pass. Forgive us for mixing metaphors here, but the other cars on the road aren't cones for you to dodge, and those weaving skills are better suited for a loom. Traffic is sort of like the ocean, you just have to go with the flow.
4. Texters
Have they stopped showing those terrifying distracted driver PSAs in high school? Drivers of all ages are susceptible to the siren song of the cell phone while driving, but it seems like young people are the worst offenders, given how eager they are to DJ, livestream, and text their way through even a five minute drive.
5. Congestion Conductors
Yes, honking will definitely let the 25 cars ahead of you who are halted for construction and/or an accident know that Mr. Big Shot has somewhere important to be, that will definitely clue them in on how urgent your situation is. Maybe if new cars came equipped with clown horns, we'd hear less of them.
6. Mobile Makeup Artists
Surely if you're in this much of a hurry to put on your makeup you should have scheduled some more time into your morning routine? Getting that perfect eyeliner wing is nowhere near as important as someone's life. Say you look away from the road for 5 measly seconds, if you're driving on a highway with an average speed of 70 mph, then you can cover the length of one and a half football fields in that time.
7. Flashers
Maybe this is an "old man yells at cloud" take, but those retina-scorching LED high beams should be illegal. In fact, most people use their high beams in situations that are completely unwarranted. Congratulations, you've succeeded in blinding the driver in front of you.
8. Double Parkers
Nothing shows off how cool you are like a terrible parking job. Listen, we don't endorse violence, but if you purposefully do such a bad job of parking that you take up two, sometimes even four spaces in a parking lot, then you should be lucky if you only get a strongly-worded note left on your dash.
9. Slowpokes
Slow and steady may win the race in Aesop's fables, but not on the road. We know you want to be cautious by just approaching the speed limit, but you'll ultimately cause more grief for all the drivers who now have to navigate around you.
10. Nice Guys
There's such thing as too much of a good thing, and nice guy drivers take that to a whole new level. No, of course, you can pass me, so can you, and you, oh...and I'll let the next five cars pass as well. In their efforts to be courteous to others—something many other drivers on this list lack—nice guys slow down traffic for others, especially at four way stops.
11. Slowpokes...On Ramps!
You never want to take a ramp too quickly for your own safety, but somewhere between making that tight corner and merging into traffic, you'll need to speed up. Merge lanes only go so far, and eventually these slowpokes will run out of room. That, and they'll take everyone behind them with them.
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12. Scaredycats
Driving is scary—statistically, that is nearly two thirds of Americans have some form of driving anxiety—especially if you're a new driver or recently recovered from an accident. That said, while everyone should err on the side of caution, scaredycats are just making things worse for themselves. Their hypervigilence causes more stress not only for them, but for the people they share the road with.
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13. Renegades
Where is this person going? What are they doing? We have no idea because they're seemingly unaware that their car comes equipped with a turn signal, and just do whatever they want, whenever they want. We have Mad Max: Road Warrior at home, thanks.
14. Snowblowers
If you live in somewhere that's covered in snow half the year, you probably know to block out extra time in the morning to dig your vehicle out. Some people, evidently, don't. Instead, they prefer to let the snow and ice blow off their car the natural way: by sending it flying into the people behind them.
15. Blind Spot Bandits
Blind spot bandits turn up like bad pennies. You do everything you can to get them to leave you alone, and they're still stuck to your bumper like glue on the underside of a desk. Camouflage is handy if you're a hunter or wildlife photographer, not so much for drivers.
16. Road Ragers
Whatever reason road ragers have to be angry is no excuse for taking it out on others. Driving can be stressful as it is without the person behind you tailgating, running reds, and laying on the horn the milisecond the light changes. Road rage has dangerous consequences for everyone, and it likely will only make the cars around you more stressed and prone to error.
17. Cruise Controllers
Cruising can be a great way to unwind, meet new people, and see the world...on a ship. On the road, cruise control is in place to make long, consistent drives more tolerable. This doesn't mean that you should be driving the exact same speed whether you're merging, exiting, or changing lanes. Different tasks call for different speeds.
18. Elderly Drivers
This isn't meant as a generalization towards all senior citizens; plenty of drivers above 65 are as sharp as ever, and we understand how important driving can be for independence. However, if your eyesight and reflexes are starting to go, you should probably take this as a sign to sit in the passenger seat.
19. Lane Hogs
Do I hear oinking or is that just the sound of lane hogs? You don't own the left lane. Kindly move over so that other motorists can use the passing lane for its intended purpose.
20. Drunk Drivers
To get serious for a moment, intoxicated drivers are the worst type of drivers on the road. If you're in anyway under the influence, there are always other options for getting home. Be smart, be safe.
